Everything That Drowns Me Makes Me Want To Fly
by artigiano
Summary: "If he wasn't the lifeline that he can tell Steve is holding onto at this moment, he'd be running in the opposite direction to find the son of a bitch who did this. And then when he caught him, no matter how long it took, he would make him pay."-The full story of "Everything That Kills Me Makes Me Feel Alive" at last!
1. Chapter 1

**So clearly I did not get this story up within the few months that I had originally promised in June. My only justification is that I spent most of my summer away from home and then I spent a semester abroad in London, where I spent my free time exploring one of the best cities on Earth, rather than writing. But now I'm back to my dull old life at my home university, and have found time to wrap things up just a bit. I'm just about done writing the epilogue, so I should be posting the chapters once-ish per week regularly. **

**Anywho, this is the full story for ****_Everything That Kills Me Makes Me Want To Fly_****, but you don't have to read that one to understand this (but you should, because I think it's pretty good). Please let me you know what you think, because a) reviews make happy and b) reviews make me happy. **

**And because I have no other musings to put in here, on with the story. All standard disclaimers apply: I don't own them, because obviously if I did I would definitely add more whumpage to the show. **

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><p>"Danny, just stop. I'm not going to—"<p>

"You're not going to what? Admit that your mother irreversibly screwed you up? That you're all scary-SEAL right now because you're angry and defensive, simply because you can't say out loud that you blame her for most of your problems? You pretend that everything's okay all the time, keep it all bottled up, but I can see how upset you get when something comes up with her or she lies to you. And it's not healthy."

Steve's hands were tight on the steering wheel, and Danny could sense that he hit a nerve. On the one hand he was sorry to make his partner angry, but on the other hand he'd been dying to say this to Steve since he brought his mom back from the dead. "Like you're the king of open and honest communication, Danny. I really don't think you have the right to be giving relationship advice."

All the regret that Danny had opening this can of worms vanished immediately as his anger rose. "Really, Steven? Really? You're going to bring my relationship with my ex-wife into this? That is so completely different that you can't put them in the same conversation. They're not even in the same zip code!"

"Oh really? Because I'm pretty sure your line about 'blaming her for most of your problems' could apply the same to you, bud."

"You're just avoiding the real issue here by being an asshole and dragging my ex-wife into this. You know I'm right, and you know it, but are being too stubborn and pigheaded to even listen to a word of reason. And that means you're never going to fix your problems, you're never going to stop being this dark and twisted super-SEAL-killer, you're never going to have a real relationship with—"

"Thanks for your diagnosis, Dr. Phil," Steve spat out. "I'm so glad you know everything about everything."

"You're such an ass, Steven. Why can't you just listen to what I'm saying?"

"Why can't you just leave it alone?"

"Because for some, unknown reason, I care about your sorry ass and try to help fix your issues. Clearly I'll just stop because everything I say falls on deaf ears!"

"That's the first smart thing you've said all afternoon," Steve snapped back, flexing his fingers on the steering wheel to get some blood back into them. Waves of anger rolled off of the SEAL, meeting in the middle with Danny's own.

The rest of the ride to the scene was quiet, terse and tense. Danny knew he had pushed his partner's buttons, had called him out on something he wasn't quite ready to deal with yet, but he was still pissed at Steve's stubborn refusal to acknowledge the problem. And now he was furious that he had brought Rachel in, so no amount of remorse at upsetting his friend was going to calm him down.

Thankfully, they arrived not too much longer. Car doors were slammed on both sides as the partners got out and made their way over to the crime scene, echoing loudly against the warehouse and carrying out towards the water and docks. Steve, manners ingrained into him, held the police tape up for his partner, but Danny couldn't bring himself to be polite back and thank him for the gesture. Instead he strode forward into the alley between warehouses, leaving Steve to catch up.

Chin and Kono were already there, getting the details from Max and the techs, though they thanked to whom they were speaking and made their way over to the other members of their team as they came forward. They obviously noticed the tension between the pair, but Danny saw Chin shake his head almost imperceptibly at Kono, and the Jersey man could admit to himself that he was glad he wasn't going to have to explain it right now, and more grateful when Chin broke the awkward silence and started speaking.

"So we have Katherine James, 32, dead from multiple stab wounds. No murder weapon yet. ID on her body says that she's the head of security for a pharmaceutical company located downtown. No indication of why she would be hanging around the port."

"She doesn't have a car in the area that we can find, and no car keys, though there is a membership card to an auto club in her wallet, so it's possible the killer took the car with him," Kono added.

"Okay, you should get on the car's GPS," Steve said, eyes scanning the ground in front of him. "I think I see a blood trail…" He walked past Chin and Kono a few paces, squatting down to get a better look at whatever caught his attention. Even in his irritation, Danny could appreciate his partner's sharp eye. "Directionality suggests whoever it was that was bleeding was moving towards the warehouse on the right. Might be the perp got injured, fled that way."

"I think HPD already swept that area, boss," Kono responded. "Want me to have CSU see if they can find anything else?"

"Nah, I'll check it out first."

As Steve stood up, Kono made a move to stop him. "Shouldn't you take someone with you? Just in case?"

The SEAL glanced at Danny quickly, eyes hard, before smiling and shaking his head at Kono, the mask and walls put in place perfectly to conceal how he was really feeling. "I'm fine. Finish processing the scene, canvass the area, and then look into the car. And get information on her next of kin, all right? We need to know who to notify."

Waiting only for a nod from one of them, he strode away quickly at Chin's approval. The three of them watched for a few moments as he moved haltingly from apparently one blood drop to the next, but as soon as he entered the warehouse, Kono rounded on Danny. "Okay, what the hell is going on?"

Danny sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Nothing. We had a fight, that's all."

"About?"

"His mother." Both cousins groaned in unison. "What? Something needed to be said!"

"Not yet, brah," Chin said calmly. "I haven't gone anywhere near that because it's too soon. He's got a lot to work through with that, and he doesn't need us bugging him about it right now. He's still in his compartmentalization phase and he's pushing all the anger down. When he needs to talk, you'll know."

"He does need us bugging him right now! It's eating away at him. I can tell he's blaming himself for everything when he should be blaming her."

"Yeah, but he has to come to that on his own or he'll just keep defending her. Just leave it for a bit, okay?"

Danny shrugged, still feeling he was right. But he wasn't going to get anywhere with apparently anyone today, so he dropped it. "Fine. Can we just get back to work, please?"

The cousins moved away, giving him the space he so desired. For half an hour, they each went about their business, finalizing everything at the scene before deciding to go to the victim's house and, hopefully, make the necessary notifications. The time alone had helped Danny cool down a bit, get lost in his work, and allow him time to see Steve's comments for what they really were—a defensive and angry response from a child not ready to face the truth about a parent. Now he just needed to straighten things out with the stubborn oaf so they could move on and grab dinner like they had originally planned. But as he looked up from the trunk of the Camaro and searched around the crime scene, he realized he didn't see his partner at all.

Turning around, he spied Chin near the water, Kono talking to tech nearby. He made his way over to them, sure that Steve had checked in with those two instead of him out of anger. "Hey, either of you seen Steve? We should head out, and I should talk to him…" He trailed off with a shrug. "Did he check in with you?"

Kono shook her head quickly. "No, I haven't seen him."

Danny immediately looked to Chin. "Not since he went off to track the blood."

Danny looked at his watch. "That was almost forty-five minutes ago." With a sinking feeling, he realized that they had lost contact with their boss at an active crime scene. Usually Steve and he were together, so it didn't matter, but even when he had investigated something on his own, Danny had checked in regularly. Even though he knew Steve could take care of himself, his partner's safety was still his responsibility and he never shirked it. But with their fight, he had been deliberately not thinking about the man, leaving him alone to do the same processing, literally and metaphorically, that Danny had.

Kono gave a small smile. "You know the boss—he tracks things like no one else. He probably just got caught up." Her calm tone, though, was belied by the worry in her eyes. "I'll call him right now. It'll be fine, you'll see." She pulled out her mobile and punched in Steve's number, leaving it on speaker to let them all hear it ring its way into voicemail. Immediately she hit redial, only to get the same result.

"Okay, let's not panic," Chin said quietly, directly a look at Danny. "We're all prone to when it comes to Steve—"

"With good reason!" Danny interjected.

"Nonetheless, let's approach this rationally. Let's just follow the blood trail and see if we can find him."

"Together, the three of them made their way to the first blood drop Steve had seen, and from there followed it into the fishing company's warehouse, though it took the three of them longer to see the small drops than it had Steve, surely. The drops continued to lead them through the building—still empty and cordoned off by police—until they curved through a doorway and into the alley behind the building. It was there that Steve's gun, badge, cell phone, and blood were waiting for them, stacked up like a terrible present.

Danny immediately rushed forward, making to grab them, but a hand from Chin stayed him. He wanted to snap at the older man, tell him to let go and let him touch the last tangible thing showing that Steve had even been here, showing that something had happened to him, but then he realized that the Hawaiian man was doing it right; whatever evidence was on the items could be their only chance of finding his partner. He refused to go where his brain wanted to, refused to tack on the word alive to the end of that thought, refused to even go down that road. So instead he watched with bated breath as Chin solemnly gloved his hands and knelt down next to the pile.

He pressed a button on the screen and waited for it to light up. "It's definitely Steve's."

"No shit it's his," Danny snapped, uncontrolled concern already taking over. "Sorry," he mumbled after realizing what he'd said. "I just…"

"We know," Kono replied, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

Chin nodded and then looked back down. The badge and gun—still in its holster—were laying flat on the ground beside each other, and as Chin picked up the badge, a stack of Polaroid's were revealed underneath.

Danny's first thought was one of incredulity—who, after all, still owned a Polaroid camera?—but that disappeared quickly as the deliberateness of the act set in. He was obviously already painfully aware that something had happened to his partner, as he would never disappear like that, would especially never leave his gun unsecured. He had known that in all likelihood, someone had acted against his partner and done this, but seeing proof that someone had planned this enough in advance to bring a camera with them made his blood run cold, with fear and with anger.

Silently Chin picked up the stack, turning them over to show the pictures. The first as of Steve as he was holding up the crime scene tape for Danny, their victim just visible in the background. The next showed Steve in the warehouse, clearly tracing the blood drops. Wordlessly Chin flipped to the third, which showed Steve bent over something in the middle of the alley, almost directly where the three of them were standing now. The penultimate picture showed the SEAL on the ground, clearly unconscious with blood on this face and a bloody wound high on his chest. Finally, Chin flipped to the last one, and Danny could taste bile in his mouth as he saw it. A man, in all black with a faceless white mask, held a sign as he stood with one foot on Steve's chest. The sign, written in deliberate strokes, simply read _Expect our call. This should be fun_.

The urge to vomit didn't go away quickly, nor did the image of Steve unconscious and bleeding in that photo. He stepped back quickly, needing some air, some space to process all the emotions hitting him at once. Anger, fear, anxiety, and guilt each struck him like punches to the gut. He should have never let his partner walk into an unsecured area of a crime scene by himself, no matter how well trained, but he had because he'd been angry, and now the kidnappers had at least a half hour head start on them, with no real clues in sight. The panic was overwhelming, laced with the sharp sting of guilt, and he was drowning in it, so far gone to these feelings he couldn't see daylight anymore.

It took Kono to bring him back. "Danny! You with me?"

"Huh?"

"I called your name three times. Please don't make me freak out about you too." The underlying confession that she couldn't take anymore lay between them unsaid but acknowledged.

So he nodded and pulled himself together as best he could. "We need to have techs come over and process...this."

"Chin's already on it," she replied with a quick jerk of her head toward her cousin.

"Good. We…we should probably get back to headquarters in case they, uh, call."

"You and I will head back, and Chin will follow as soon as he hands off the case to HPD so Steve can be our only priority."

"Good." The daze was coming back, the feeling of not even knowing where to begin. Steve was gone, taken from right under their noses, and Danny knew they should be springing into action, but all he could seem to do was wallow. "That's good."

Apparently Kono could tell, for she laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently again. "We'll find him, Danny. Whoever took him, wherever he is, we'll get them. Don't worry."

He gave a hollow laugh. "Don't worry? Steve attracts trouble like no other, even on the best of days, and whoever took him was professional enough to sneak up on a SEAL. How can I not?"

She looked like she wanted to respond, but there was really nothing to say, no soothing balm for their nerves. Someone had taken Steve, had planned out how to do it, and Danny just hoped to hell they could find him before the rest of the plan could be put into place.

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think, and the next chapter will be up soon! <strong>

**Charlotte **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all so much for the wonderful reviews! It makes my day to get so much support, and I'm hoping that y'all love this chapter as much as the first. **

**Standard disclaimers apply: I don't own ****_Hawaii Five-0_**** or anything of the characters, or clearly I'd be upping the bromance already this season. **

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><p>It was three hours before the call came in. Three hours of pacing, waiting, wondering what was happening to Steve; three hours full of minutes that were more tortuous than the one before. Danny had paced at first, unable to keep still, calling the lab every few minutes to see if they had pulled anything off of Steve's personal effects or photos left behind. When everything came back completely clean, including the woman's murder, Danny went outside to get some air, pacing outside instead of the confined quarters of headquarters with Chin and Kono's worried glances hitting him every time he made a turn. But after only a few minutes, the itching need to be in there in case the call finally in became too overwhelming, and he returned. By hour two, his legs were tired, his knee protesting at the constant back and forth, so he sat. He sat as close to the table as he could, praying that the phone would ring and give them something to start their search because right now they had nothing. But sitting meant that with his body still, his thoughts had the ability to run away and then the guilt came back. Guilt that he wasn't there to help his partner, guilt that he couldn't do anything to help him now…he was failing his friend again and again without the ability to change a damn thing.<p>

So he started moving again, doing anything to keep those thoughts at bay, even if it meant wearing his knee down to nothing and rubbing the floor raw with his pattern of steps. He ignored the continuous looks sent his way again, moving through the third hour and into the fourth.

It was just as Danny was losing all hope, thinking that the fun had been done and his partner done away with, that the phone line in Steve's office started ringing. His stomach clenched painfully, knowing without being able to say why that this was it. The three looked at each other and time seemed to freeze for a beat, allowing them one more final moment in limbo before they were sent crashing into hell. Then the moment broke, shattering before them, and the need for action came rushing back. Kono started tapping buttons on the table, getting ready to trace the call, while Danny and Chin moved into the office, leaving the door open and hitting speaker as they answered.

"This is Five-0."

"An email account has been set up. The username is_ patience_ and the passcode is _orhedies_. Log into it to receive further instructions. This will be my last voice communication."

"No, wait! Can you tell us if Steve is okay? Can we talk to him?"

"I'd check your email, Detective Williams. Happy hunting." The distorted voice disappeared, replaced only with the dial tone.

"Shit!" Danny threw the receiver down hard on the desk, not caring if he broke it or not. "Patience or he dies? He's playing with us!"

"I know," Chin replied, his voice troubled. "Kono, did you get anything?"

"No," she called back, voice tight with stress. "The call didn't last long enough to even get a general area trace."

Danny cursed again, crossing his arms over his chest. "Well, let's login to this email, then. Play the sick bastard's game."

"He didn't say what service, though," Kono pointed out.

Danny glared at her, knowing it wasn't her fault but unable to relieve his tension any other way. "So we try all of them. We need to be one step ahead of this guy if we're going to find him and right now I feel like we're five behind without any directions." Kono nodded in response, and then immediately set to work.

It was on their fourth try with the fourth mail provider that they finally got a match. At first when they logged in, there was nothing; but almost immediately an email popped up, indicating that it was sent from the same account. "Is there any way to trace where this was sent from?"

"Let me try," Kono replied, running a separate program as they clicked on the email, eyes tracing it as Chin sent it to the three main screens.

Large black letters filled most of the letter, reading, "_Good work finding the account. Your first task is complete._" Chin took control, scrolling down so the next part of the message was visible. "_Click on the attachment for a preview of what's to come."_

"Our first task?" Danny's voice quaked a bit, his anger reaching dangerous levels as it once again hit him that this was all a game to whoever had orchestrated the event. "Our _task_? This is bull shit!"

No one said anything else as Chin scrolled down further to reveal the attachment. With his heart in his throat, Danny nodded at Chin to download it, every second ticking by waiting for it to cue up worst than the last. Finally the video popped up, and once more it was quickly moved to the main screens. As soon as they were all ready, Chin hit play.

It was black at first. The only reason they knew it was playing at all was by the time bar at the bottom and the sound of shuffling and muffled words, sounding almost like curses, which filled the speakers. A metallic clang echoed through the room followed by more shuffling. Then it was only the sound of heavy breathing for a few moments before the screen lit up and Danny's heart stopped.

Steve was in the middle of a dingy room, hanging from chains in the same manner as what he had described to Danny about his time in North Korea. He was a little bit dirtier than this morning, but Danny could still see the dried blood on his head and the blood that appeared to be still leaking sluggishly from the wound on his chest. He was bruised now, along his cheekbone and jaw on the right side, and he looked to be, at the moment, unconscious.

Then a door opened behind him, and the same man from the photo—or at least a person in the same mask—entered the room. "Good afternoon, Commander McGarrett. But, oh, that is _so_ formal. Do you mind if I call you Steve?"

"Go to hell," Steve spat back, apparently not unconscious after all.

"Tsk, tsk. Where are your manners?"

"You can take your manners and shove them—" He never saw the baseball bat coming, because if he had, he probably would have stopped talking. Or at least that's what Danny hoped. Either way, he was cut off abruptly as the bat made contact with his ribs, producing an audible crack.

Steve's breathing because louder as he panted, taking in large gulps of air like a drowning man, but those breaths were covered by the sound of laughter. "Now, now, that was certainly unpleasant for both of us. I hope you'll find your manners, or the bat might just find you again."

"Screw…you…" The man in the mask gave a nod, and the thug that had swung the wooden bat the first time stepped up again, using the other side of Steve's body for batting practice. There was another crack that came through the speakers and even with the poor quality, Danny could see his partner pale.

"Now, now Steve. We wouldn't want to break all your ribs just yet, would we? Do try to behave." Steve was too busy trying to breathe to respond this time, so the man turned back the camera and did something that made Danny want to be able to reach through the screen and rip the guy's throat out: he gave a little bow. "As you can see, Detectives Williams, Kalakaua, and Kelly, we're going to have plenty to do here to keep us busy until the next time. Now, I know you're expecting some sort of demand here, but where is the fun in that? I know you're going to try to trace this or find anything out about me that you can, but I'll give you a clue for both: you will find nothing, and nothing is what you'll get until I decide to contact you again. I've been authorized to play this out however I feel, so get comfy. You have no task to complete right now, so ta ta!" And with that, the screen went black.

Danny wanted to hit something, break something, destroy everything in sight, but there was nothing but the thousands of dollars of equipment and his teammates. He could feel his hands trembling, tightly clenched as they were, and he wasn't sure anymore if his heart was beating normally or just beating out of control. He took a few deep breaths to steady himself, knowing that he wouldn't do his partner any good like this, couldn't help him escape from the maniac who had him if he wasn't even in control of his own body, and slowly the rushing in his ears started to go down. He cleared his throat before speaking, giving himself just one more minute. "Is, uh, is there any way to trace that?"

It took a moment before anyone responded to him, but finally Kono spoke, her voice cracking slightly. "I-I think he was right. The email was sent as an attachment, and I can't trace where it was sent from, and there's no activity that can lead us back to the bastard."

"Shit!" Danny slammed his hand down on the table. "Can we try matching his voice? He's wearing the fucking mask again, but he's speaking. There has to be something there, right? We can't just sit around and do nothing!"

"I can try to use the FBI database, see what comes up," Chin replied, his voice troubled. "Have we called Catherine?"

"She's out at sea. She, uh, left a few nights ago. The ship is on total communications blackout. Steve, he uh, was lamenting about it this morning before we fought. He was complaining about it and then I had asked if he had heard anything from his mother lately, and that's how we started…" He trailed off and cleared his throat, ignoring the lump there as best he could. "Anyway, I can try to send word to Pearl for them to pass on, but it's unlikely she'll get the message." The cousins both nodded, not saying anything, and Danny wasn't sure if he was grateful for them not addressing his comments about this morning or if he wished that they had offered some comfort, something to make him feel like he wasn't continually failing his partner.

Everyone was silent for a moment before Danny's detective brain started running again, and he realized that something had been bothering him about the whole thing. "Whoever this guy is, he's acting on orders." His remark caught the other two by surprise, he could tell, but he kept going. "He said that he had been authorized to carry out whatever sick game this is however he felt. That means that he's been hired by somebody, which probably means that we're looking for someone who wants revenge on McGarrett—'

"Or the whole team," Chin interjected.

"Or the whole team, and doesn't want it to trace back to them. Whoever it is hired someone who is either paid to do this whole kidnapping-torture-ransom thing for a living, or also has some sort of vendetta against us."

"Whoever this guy is, the one in the mask, I think his issue is with Steve. His issue, his obsession, whatever it is, it seems a lot more personal to him than just some hired goon."

Danny nodded at Kono's comment, acknowledging the validity of her statement. "But he seems to know too much of how to do this to just be some random guy who wants revenge and was conveniently available to whoever planned this."

"So maybe we're looking for someone that's both," Chin threw out. "It's possible that we are looking at someone who is seeking revenge specifically on Steve but also does this for a living. Whatever _this_ is—professional kidnapper-torturer-ransom man doesn't seem like something you'd put on a business card."

They all cracked a smile at the image, but it faded quickly as it became obvious that they really did have nothing. "We're still screwed though," Danny said miserably. "It's going to be impossible to find everyone who wants to get back at Steve, who also does this professionally and has a connection to someone else that wants retaliation against the team. The list is just too long."

"It's better than nothing," Kono responded. "I refuse to sit here and play along with this psychopath's game, twiddling our thumbs until the next video comes along. We owe Steve more than that. We may not find anything, but at least we'll feel better knowing that we've tried, and when we find him, we're going to be able to say that we did everything humanly possible to get to him as fast as we could. So pull yourself together, Danny. You're a cop, and we're going to treat this like any other case—we're going to run down leads, whatever they are, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant, because we have a kidnapping victim who needs our help. No more wallowing, no more guilt. Push those feelings aside and be the cop that Steve needs you to be. Got it?"

Danny was stunned for a moment, indignant the next. But there was really nothing he could say to argue against her. "Okay. You're right. Let's do this."

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><p>The next morning, though, the fight had even gone out of Kono. There was no difficulty compiling a list of people who would have motive to take revenge against the team or their leader, no shortage of people who wished them ill. Though it was slightly harder, it was possible to find individuals who worked as professional kidnappers, people who had left trails of devastation and destruction around the world large enough to earn themselves large files in Interpol and various other governmental databases that the team had gained access to.<p>

But the voice recognition software had gotten them nowhere; there were no connections they could see between the professionals and Steve, nor the professionals and their list of revenge-seeking individuals; and there was nothing in any database that described the type of MO so far seen from the man who had taken Steve. They had lists aplenty, more names than they knew what to do with, but nothing to tie them together, nothing to cause them to break out the red yarn conspiracy theorists so loved. They were all tired, having worked for almost 24 hours with only a few breaks and naps, and copious amounts of coffee, with nothing to truly show for it.

Danny was the only one still listlessly sorting through the data, looking for a third and fourth time what had already been sorted through a first and second. Chin had finally succumbed to sleep, crashed out at his desk chair, head tilting at an angle that would surely be painful when he awoke. His cousin hadn't fallen asleep as voluntarily as Chin, and she was currently supporting her head on her hand, leaning on the table, snoring lightly. Danny could feel himself nodding off every so often, head nodding without his approval, indicating that his need for some sleep was just as great as his teammates, but he stubbornly refused to stop working, feeling the need to have someone searching for a clue at all times. Even if it wasn't feasibly possible, he was going to work until it killed him.

It was at that point that Danny felt himself thinking a horrible thought, wishing an unforgivable wish. More than anything, right now he wanted to have another video sent to them, to see a message come into the inbox they had left open throughout the night. He needed to not only see that his partner was still in the land of the living, but he also desperately wanted another clue. He needed something, anything, to work from, even if it meant seeing his partner beaten and tortured. He kept telling himself that he could deal with that, deal with that sight, if only it meant that something could be uncovered to help them, to help Steve.

So he found himself staring at the screens in front of him, waiting for a ding, a chime, a light, anything to indicate that a video was coming in.

But nothing came.

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><p><strong>Leave a review, and let me know what you think! The next chapter will be up next week. <strong>

**Charlotte**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, it's the third week, and the third chapter! This is the shortest installment, but it propels us into what we need for the next few, so forgive me if it's shorter than what you want. Hopefully y'all enjoy it, and please leave a review to let me know what you think! **

**Standard disclaimers apply: I don't own ****_Hawaii Five-0 _****or any of the characters, or every episode would involve Steve getting injured in some way. So for the sake of the character, it's probably good I'm not in charge. **

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><p>When Governor Denning made the suggestion two days later that the team return to their normal workload, instead of simply waiting for another missive from the lunatic holding Steve captive, Danny went ballistic. They were lucky that Chin was the one who had taken the call, because otherwise the choice words the Jersey detective had for their boss would have been even louder and more direct than they were echoing loudly in the main hall of the headquarters.<p>

It wasn't that unfair, if looked at objectively and logically. They were an elite task force, it was true, and they were not getting good results on anything. They had been unable to find where Steve had been taken, unable to narrow down specifically who would be looking for revenge against the team, and had narrowed their possible mercenary down to five different individuals—all of whom had locations currently unknown and were questionable at best. They had eaten little and slept less, were exhausted and short-tempered, and literally had nothing to go off of, and the governor's suggestion was the final straw for Danny.

"That fucker cannot just expect us to fucking abandon Steve to be tortured without doing anything! What does he fucking expect us to say? Go back to work, like we're not half working ourselves to death already looking for our friend and his employee? Does he not fucking _care_ that Steve is missing? This is shit, and you know it!"

"Calm down, Danny," Chin said wearily. "I told him no. I told him that he could fire all of us if he wanted to, but that Steve was our main priority and until we found him, we weren't going to do anything else."

"Bet he didn't appreciate the prospect of losing his personal task force," Kono remarked, and though she was calm now, she had been swearing up a storm with Danny earlier.

"Not so much, no," Chin replied, "but he didn't really have any other option but to let us keep working on this when he realized I wasn't kidding. He backed down pretty quick after that, offered us any help that we needed and asked for updates regularly. So everyone just take a deep breath, and let's get back to work. Let's go back through the list of mercenaries and kidnappers-for-hire and see if we can narrow it down any further."

Half an hour later they had crossed one potential name off the list, having finally come across information that he had been shot in Thailand six months earlier, when the next video came in.

They had left the joint email account up on the main screen, refreshing it obsessively, in the hopes that something new would come in. Kono had refreshed it just three minutes before, and none of them had been paying attention to it at the moment, when suddenly Danny looked up and there it was, a bright white line bringing to them both their worst fear and best hopes.

They all paused, holding off on the inevitable, until Kono nodded. "Just open it," she said quietly.

Much like the first time, the screen was black for the first few moments, the sound of quietly ragged breathing filling the monitors. When the visual finally came up, much like the first time around Danny's heart dropped and he could see similar expressions of fury crossing the faces of Chin and Kono as well.

Steve was once more chained up, but this time it was to a chair in the middle of the room, restraints holding his arms to the armrests and ankles to the footrest and the chair to the floor, though this time he wasn't only slightly dirty or slightly injured. This time he was very grimy and very injured, dust and dirt and blood covering him everywhere. Though it was hard to distinguish the filth from his days in captivity from the bruises, Danny could tell that his partner, his friend, his brother, had taken a brutal beating within the last few days. There were mottled spots, purpled and yellowed, along his jaw, his cheeks, his eyes. The shirt he'd had on when he was taken and in the first video was gone now, his bare chest showing the abuse that had been heaped upon him, and it was bloodier now. The older stain on his chest competed for attention with fresh spots low on his torso and perhaps on his side, though Danny wasn't sure how much of that was another injury or just smeared blood. He was bruised there too, violet hues awash over his chest where his ribs had been previously broken, reds and yellows blossoming in areas both higher and lower.

But it was the burn marks above his navel that really made Danny's blood boil.

It had taken Steve a long time to get over what had happened to him in North Korea, loathe as he was to show it or admit it to anyone. It had taken one night of lots of beers and good whiskey to even have the topic breached, and that night Danny could see the pain those days of captivity caused him, the anger over the betrayal, the inability to understand why it had happened in so many ways—and that was before his mother had come casually waltzing back into his life. Danny knew that the knowledge that he had been inadvertently tortured over and for protecting his mother simultaneously ate away at Steve sometimes, the fading marks from the stun gun a reminder of what he had been through without comprehension. Danny knew that his time with Wo Fat in that bunker hadn't been the worst thing that had ever happened to his partner, knew that he had seen and been through hell that made that pale in comparison, but it had taken its toll and those memories were finally starting to fade along with some of the scars.

But this son of a bitch had used a cattle prod on him just like Steve had faced before and all of Danny's anger, his rage, his fury fueled by helplessness came rushing back as he saw those new burn marks in almost exactly the same spot that he had seen them a year before. The physical need to strike something, to cause himself or someone else physical pain to strip away his anger came back stronger than ever, but he forced himself to calm down, as this was just the beginning of whatever else this psychopath had in store for them.

Danny refocused on the video just as the same man in the mask came strolling into view. There was really no other word for it that he could think of, as the man had a relaxed air about him, something almost jovial that juxtaposed harshly with the reality of the situation. "Welcome back, Detectives. I know that you've probably been frantically searching for something, but I also know you haven't found anything. I've made this email untraceable through thousands of proxy servers, and you know nothing about me. So I'm sure you're practically salivating to get a clue about the location of poor Steve here." He stopped his pacing in front of the SEAL and tapped him lightly on the cheek, just hard enough to rouse the man from his semi-conscious state. "And you just might get your chance to find that out if you complete your next task. But first a little present for you to watch." The man motioned to someone off screen and presumably another hired thug stepped forward.

Danny felt a moment's relief not to see some sort of weapon in the man's hand, but that feeling was lost a second later when instead a syringe materialized instead. Pulse speeding up to levels he didn't think were possible, not possible unless his own life was at risk, he watched as the man calmly inserted the needle into Steve's vein at the crook of his arm, as he calmly depressed the plunger. He felt like cursing, but was so lost to anxiety that he couldn't find the words.

The man in the mask moved in front of the camera as soon as the drug had been injected, reverting everyone's attention back to him. "Now, have no fear about this injection. I'm not giving our friend here something addictive—no heroin, no cocaine. That would have a much too…pleasant effect on him. We wouldn't want him to be high or happy, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. No, no, this is a very lovely combination of drugs that I came up with all on my own. There's a hallucinogen, to be sure, but there's also a little snake venom for pain, some amphetamines to increase his anxiety, and a little pit of a paralytic, so that he can't thrash about. Well, maybe there's a lot of this venom. Of course, this could have a very adverse affect. It could, of course, be so effective in paralyzing him that he stops breathing, or he could have a heart attack from the pain and the panic and visions. But either way, I think we'll all enjoy the show. Ah, I think it's about to begin." The man stepped back at this moment, allowing them to see what their friend was going through.

Danny wished he hadn't.

Steve's muscles were tense, so tense that Danny could see every part of him straining and shaking with the effort, but already he couldn't move, couldn't do anything to ease the pain. His face was starting to turn red, his breaths coming faster and faster. Even from the grainy quality of the video and the distance from which Steve was to the camera, Danny could see his eyes wildly chasing something around, something that only he could see. He looked terrified, straining so hard to get away from something that wasn't there, something that he physically couldn't escape anyway.

Danny thought it couldn't get any worse, but then his partner started screaming.

At first it was just unintelligible yells, shouts of pain and fear. But then they became cries begging for it to stop, to make it go away, to make him go away. Danny assumed that he meant the pain from the venom and the man in the mask, assumed that it was that simple until he forced himself to recognize that Steve was clearly re-experiencing something terrible from his past. But then, his voice growing hoarser, the shouts and screams turned into recognizable words, protestations and pleas for the lives of his men, ghosts who clearly still haunted him even after all this time.

So Danny watched, hands clenched so tightly into fists that he knew he was leaving bloody crescent-shaped marks on his palm, as his best friend cried, fleeting in and out of reality but never out of the pain and anxiety. It went on for far too long, for what felt like hours to the blonde man, but then all of a sudden all the sounds stopped, and he realized that Steve had passed out.

But at Kono's sob, he realized that Steve hadn't actually passed out. Looking closer, he could see that his partner's eyes had rolled back in his head, he was shaking, as much as he could with the paralytic in his system, from head to toe, and there was blood trickling out of his nose on one side.

The man in the mask made a small tsk-ing noise and nodded at the same hired help who had injected Steve in the first place. He stepped forward again and quickly injected something else into Steve's vein, afterwards placing two fingers on the injured man's neck to check for a pulse.

The Five-0 team watched as the shaking stopped and Steve's head fell forward limply, and Danny knew that this time he really was unconscious. The man held his fingers to McGarrett's neck a minute longer before he stepped back and nodded.

The man in the mask stepped forward again, but stood far enough away form the camera so that they could still see Steve. "Well, that was a tad unfortunate at the end, but overall I would consider that a success, especially since my employer would have been so unhappy had I killed your precious friend here. But now you've seen what I can do, so I hope this has properly incentivized you to complete your next task correctly. Now here are your instructions.

"You are to bring Sara Marquez to the Honolulu Zoo tonight at 7:00 PM. You are also to bring one million dollars in a green duffel bag for her safe travels to a predetermined location. You have roughly ten hours to complete this assignment, and if everything goes according to plan, you'll receive information on where to find your friend here. Of course, whether he is alive or dead is entirely up to the individuals who hired me and myself of course, but I suggest that if you want things to turn out in your favour, you should follow my instructions to the letter. Now I hope you all have a pleasant rest of your day, and we'll see you tonight. We're signing off for now, so ta ta and goodbye!" The man gave a little bow, and then a nod, and the screen went dark.

Danny looked down at his shoes for a moment, trying his hardest not to vomit, trying his hardest to not notice Kono hastily wiping away her tears. When he finally had his stomach under his control again, he looked back up at the team members still with him, and he knew the same fire was burning in his eyes that he could see in theirs. "Okay, so I don't have the ability to discuss whatever the hell that was that we just saw, nor do I ever really want to think about it ever again, so we just need to form a plan. Kono, find everything you can about this girl—she's got to be our link somehow, and we need to find her. Chin, you and I are going to find a way to somehow amass a million dollars to save Steve before that sick son of a bitch finds more ways to have fun."

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><p><strong>Let me know what you thought! More is coming next week. <strong>

**Charlotte **


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, once again. It means a lot to get feedback on a story that I'm not always sure is up to par. Hopefully you all like this chapter, and please let me know what you think. **

**All standard disclaimers apply. **

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><p>Danny's leg was bouncing up and down nervously as he sat on the bench in the zoo, next to the elephant enclosure. It was a few hours from closing and he had watched the exhibits empty out substantially over the last hour, anxiously waiting for some sign of whoever he was meeting for the ransom exchange.<p>

It wasn't just the exchange itself that made him nervous, although it wasn't helping that they didn't have a confirmation of any details save for the general location and the time for the drop, that they didn't have a confirmation about who they were supposed to be meeting, that they didn't have a confirmation of anything, really. But what made him truly jittery was the fact that he didn't have everything—or even really anything—that had been requested by the man in the mask. He gingerly rubbed his hands over his face as he thought about the previous few hours.

He had told the Five-0 team that they were to assemble one million dollars and deliver that along with Sara Marquez, set and ready to go, which would then be traded for the location of where Steve was being held.

At first the girl had seemed like the easy part. Kono had run her name immediately, finding that she had been arrested during a joint investigation between Five-0 and HPD six months ago. According to the report and their own vague memories, she had been the only individual captured alive when a meth house had exploded in a remote area of the city; everyone inside the house had perished, and the girl had received substantial injuries even in her hiding place outside. She had escaped detection in the woods behind the house, missed in the thermal scan the team had done from the helicopter by sliding under a still-warm car, and had only been found after the house had blown apart. The explosion wasn't a result of their investigation, as had been determined later: the compounds the cookers were using were wildly unstable, the fire marshal had reported, and would have likely exploded with or without the knock on the door from their robot. The explosion and deaths of those involved in distributing the meth had inadvertently helped cripple a very large drug ring on the island, and many in the Honolulu Police Department had considered it a success. Sara Marquez, determined to be a low-level dealer, had been arrested and transported to the prison infirmary as soon as she was stable.

But now that this girl was suddenly the focus of the vendetta against Steve, and the fact that the man on the tape had seemed to imply there was more to her than met the eye, it seemed like everything they had understood about her may have been wrong. Nonetheless, Kono immediately called the warden at the prison, wanting to talk to her at the very least, and hopefully take custody of her for the day in order to use her in the exchange and track her back to where they were holding Steve, and whoever had set this whole thing into motion. As they were waiting for the return call from the jail, it seemed like they might be able to check one thing off their list.

The money had been the harder part. None of the team had access neither to that kind of cash, nor to anybody that would easily be able to give it to them. The last time they had needed such a large sum, they had stolen it from the evidence locker, but that had ended going to hell in all sorts of ways, and they didn't have the resources or time to resort to that again. They tried to pool together everything they had, had contacted the governor for his help, had tried to look into taking out loans just to get the money. But in the end, there just wasn't enough, and not enough time. The governor couldn't authorize that amount be handed over to the team to use in negotiations for what he deemed as terrorists, as it was against policy, and had explained this all to them so calmly that Danny had to restrain himself from explaining how asinine the governor's policy was with a few choice words.

So in the end they had taken two thousand dollars, in hundred dollar bills, and placed them on the top and bottom of photocopied bills, to give the appearance that they had the cash. It was a risky plan and it set Danny's stomach roiling every time he thought about the fact that they were risking Steve's life with it, were risking his best friend, but there wasn't another option they could find. Not in such a short time table.

While Kono was still combing through police reports, trying to get more information on Sara Marquez, and Chin was filling up the bag, Danny told them that he would be back in a few minutes, that he needed a break. He could feel the nervous energy and worry building up to almost unbearable levels, making him jumpy, irritable and antsy—even more than he had been for the past few days. There was a possible finish line in sight, and the knowledge that they could bring Steve home tonight made the waiting game impossible for him. If he was going to be able to do the job, complete the ransom drop, then he needed to see something other than these four walls.

So he got in his car, the ghost of his partner haunting him every mile, and drove aimlessly for a bit, eventually finding himself at the McGarrett home. Steve's truck was in the driveway, as Danny had picked him up on the way to the crime scene on that fateful day. For a moment, as he parked behind the blue behemoth, he could almost delude himself into thinking that everything was fine, that he was simply meeting Steve for a drink after work, that his best friend was safe and whole, their fight forgiven.

But there was a stillness in the air, a quietness that revealed the truth. Danny gingerly stepped out of the car and made his way to the front door. He unlocked it quickly with the spare key hanging on his key ring that Steve had given him years before, finding comfort in the familiarity of grooves in the handle in his hand. The door pushed open under his light touch, and he stopped for a moment, taking in the utter Steve-ness the space exuded.

There was a book open on the side table, next to the couch that had a shirt thrown haphazardly over the back. Danny knew that, being such a tidy person, Steve had probably intended to put it away when he had returned home that night, only he had had never gotten the chance. Danny wandered into the kitchen, noting the plate and coffee mug in the sink. He craned his head around and saw Steve's running shoes sitting by the back door, the bottoms crusted with sand. Turning around, Danny made his way up the stairs, noting that Steve had taken the time to make his bed that morning, though he had failed to take a glass of water downstairs, leaving it sitting on the nightstand.

The blonde man walked back downstairs, pausing one more time to take a deep breath in, trying to take the peace of the house with him. He could feel some of his anxiety leaving him, and determination taking its place. He needed to get his best friend back, get his partner back to chasing down criminals, and Danny knew that he needed to focus on that determination to get that done.

So as he left Steve's home, he held onto that anger burning inside him, fueling him, and brought it back with him as he returned to the headquarters, clapping his hands and demanding to know what was new as soon as he walked in the door. As he settled back into their rhythm, he relied on that renewed strength to get through the rest of the day before the ransom drop was scheduled to happen.

But it was only an hour before they were getting ready to leave that Kono found out more about Sara Marquez, something that complicated the entire situation and made the liability of what they were about to do skyrocket.

They had gathered in the main hall of the headquarters, Chin and Danny preparing for the ransom drop by wiring the latter up with recording devices of the visual and auditory varieties. They were going over the plan once more, rehearsing what was going to be said and done, making backup plans and going over those as well, when Kono cursed whilst on the phone.

"Sorry, no it's just, we really needed to talk to her…. Yeah, of course…. Uh huh, thanks. Bye." She ended the call quickly and slammed her phone down violently on the table. "We're screwed."

Immediately both of them looked at her, freezing in their motions. "What? Why?" Danny demanded quickly, any positive emotions left over from earlier diminishing quickly as he took in the expression on her face. "What is it?"

"That was the warden obviously. The death certificate hasn't been filed yet, but apparently yesterday, another inmate stabbed Sara Marquez to death, in an apparent gang rivalry. They didn't even have time to take her to the hospital—she died in the prison."

"Shit. This is bad. Really, really bad."

"Yeah. The warden said they haven't even notified the family yet, although I don't know who they would notify because according to everything that I've found out about her, Sara Marquez didn't have any relatives. She was an only child, and her parents died when she was young."

"Then who in the world will they notify?" Chin demanded quickly.

"I don't know. But we just lost our biggest bargaining chip. We can't hand her over, and without the money, we're screwed. What are we going to do?" Kono and Danny looked at each other in panic for a few seconds, before realizing that Chin was busy typing away at something. "Cuz? You got something?"

"Maybe. Something you said made me think—what if she wasn't an only child?"

"Are you high?" Danny spat out immediately, not appreciating the wild turn this conversation had taken. "Kono's been looking at this stuff all day."

"I know, Danny, but bear with me for a second. Obviously there's someone listed as Sara's next of kin that the warden is going to call, someone that can't be a blood relative, but nonetheless cares about her enough to be there for her. Now, Sara's parents died when she was a teenager, but they weren't both her parents—at least not biologically. Look at this," he said, swiping whatever he had been reviewing onto the screens where they could all see it. "Here's a marriage record between Sara's mom, Betsy, and one Javier Cruz. According to this, Javier had a son, Raymond. This certificate was filed two years before her mother and stepfather died-maby just enough time for Sara and Raymond to bond. If that's true, he not only, therefore, would be motivated to get her out of prison because he sees her as family—and blames us for putting her there—but maybe because she was a more integral part of the operation than we thought."

"Wait, what?" Danny asked, his mind spinning at the sudden change of thoughts.

Kono, didn't seem to have the same problem though. "Wait, Raymond Cruz? As in the guy suspected of running the meth house we busted?"

"Yes, that Raymond Cruz. It was always suspected that he had a partner in the operation, one doing the day-to-day management, who oversaw the making of the product, but we couldn't prove anything. And with everyone dead, there wasn't anyone left to question. We weren't able to catch Raymond, even if we brought down much of his organization, but maybe we captured his silent partner."

"Okay, colour me impressed for figuring that out," Danny said, somewhat snappily, "but can we get back to the business at hand? Sara Marquez, whoever she was and however important she was to Cruz—who admittedly is probably the guy that set this all up which _is_ a good piece of information—is still dead. Cruz doesn't know this yet, but as soon as he finds out, we're screwed. We're screwed anyway, because we can't turn her over."

"Well, I can call the warden back and have her hold the call to the next of kin," Kono responded immediately. "That takes care of that. As for the other…I'm not sure what we do."

Silence reigned for a moment before Danny spoke. "Chin, pull up a picture of Sara again." There was an unasked question in the other man's eyes, but regardless he did as requested.

"What are you thinking, Danny?"

"Well, look at her. According to her driver's license she was 5'10", 120 pounds, dark hair, dark eyes. Maybe, just maybe, whoever is coming to make the ransom drop doesn't know exactly what she looks like, and maybe, just maybe, if that person is looking at her from a distance, Kono could pass for her. So instead of doing a straight trade off and tracking Sara back, maybe we try to get the information first with the promise of revealing Sara's location."

"Do you think that will work?" Kono asked quietly. "If it doesn't, we could lose Steve. These aren't the type of people to mess around."

"Don't you think I know that? Believe me, I've seen the videos—I don't think I'll ever be able to get them out of my ead. But I think it's the only play we've got right now. It's the eleventh hour."

"Okay," Chin said after a moment of thought. "Let's do this."

So they had decided to make Kono look as much like Sara Marquez as possible and hope to heaven above that their contact would play along with their plan. Within a half an hour, they had the fake ransom and fake girl ready to go, Chin following behind in a separate car with backup.

And now Danny was waiting on the bench in the zoo, unsure if what he was about to do was going to get his best friend killed or save his life. He looked up from where he was sitting, and subtly spoke into his mic to update the others. "I don't have anything yet. No one seems out of the ordinary, and—wait. I might have a guy coming towards me now." He watched as the guy checked Danny over, making a purposeful note of the black bag sitting beside him on the bench. "We're a go," the blonde man whispered quietly, just before the other man came into earshot.

The man was not one of the men they had seen in either one of the videos, but neither did he match the picture of Raymond Cruz they had found. Whoever he might be, he moved like a man on a mission, immediately stopping in front of Danny and pointing at the bag. "You have the money I presume?" The question was posed in perfect English, though with a slight Russian accent.

Filing away the location for later, Danny nodded, carefully not looking in the direction of where either Chin or Kono were located, forcing himself to breathe evenly so as not to betray his nerves. "It's in the bag. Where's my partner?"

The man shook his head quickly. "It doesn't work like that, Detective Williams. You say you have the money, fine. But that's only half of what is needed for an exchange. Where's the girl?"

"She's here," Danny replied, his pulse skyrocketing. "I'll tell you exactly where she is once I know that my partner is still alive, and once you give me his location. I'm only going to give you Sara then."

"_Nyet_." The Russian man reached for the bag, which he unzipped, quickly perused, nodded and zipped shut, and then faced Danny again—who let out a quick breath he had been holding as the money was being inspected—with a scowl on his face. "The girl is to be produced now, or else I will make a call and your partner's dead body will be dumped on your doorstep later this evening. Unless you want to deal with that, I suggest you bring the girl out now."

Danny knew that this man wasn't bluffing, and though this wasn't the plan, wasn't the play that he wanted to make without getting any information first, he knew there wasn't another option. So, with a sigh, he nodded slowly. "I'll make the call, okay? Just don't do anything else." The man nodded, apparently satisfied for the moment, though he watched Danny like a hawk as he brought out his cell phone. The Jersey man dialed Chin's number quickly, shifting slightly to face away from the imposing mercenary, trying to ignore the slight tremor in his hands. "Bring her out," he said quickly as soon as Chin answered, knowing that it was all for show, as they had been listening to the entire conversation through his ear piece anyway. Without waiting for a reply, he hung up and slipped the phone back into his pocket, turning back to face his opponent head on.

As he turned though, he saw the Russian man slip a photo out of his pocket, a photo of Sara Marquez. Danny cursed quietly. Even with the dark hair, makeup they had added to give Kono an unhealthy pallor, the height and weight, the passing similarity to the dead girl, Danny knew it wasn't going to be good enough. Not with a photo of a real girl right in front of this man, who clearly didn't know her but knew her face. Knew her face well enough to know that the girl they were trying to present him with wasn't the one he was paid to get.

He could hear Chin in his earpiece asking what was wrong, but it was too late. The cousins were walking towards him, Kono in front, shuffling a little in some beat up clothes, head down, her cousin behind, strongly and swiftly guiding her forwards. There was no way to abort it now, and as soon as the Russian saw that it wasn't Sara, it wouldn't matter if they'd had a million dollars or not. They were screwed.

Steve was screwed.

And sure enough as soon as Kono drew close enough, as she lifted her head just slightly, Danny could see the man beside him stiffen, hand going to his side where a gun was most assuredly concealed. "_Nyet_!" He said harshly, angrily. "That is not the girl that you were told to bring. I don't know what you're trying to do, but that is not what was agreed upon." Immediately he started backing away, black bag full of mostly fake money still in hand, the other grasping the gun under his jacket firmly now. "You will watch your friend die, now. You have killed him." The man spat on the ground at their feet, holding up a hand as Danny started to protest, started to follow him in his flight backwards. "No, make no attempt to follow me or justifications. You have signed your friend's death warrant with this…this charade, this _mockery_," he spat out the last word, and Danny couldn't help but flinch, "and unless you want to join him in his early grave, I suggest you stay here until I am gone or your brains will be splattered all over the little children behind you. Or maybe I'll just start shooting the kids until you let me leave." Then, throwing the bag away from him on the ground, he started moving backwards again.

Danny wanted to tackle the man, to stop him from leaving, to beat the location of Steve out of him, but he had a gun and there were kids, a terrible hostage scenario waiting to happen. Even though they outgunned him, Danny had a feeling he'd go down fighting. So, in what felt like a decision where he chose the potential safety of the dozens of kids around him to the life of his partner, Danny let the man walk away, let him fade back into the crowd of people pouring out of the zoo. As he disappeared from sight, Danny turned around to face the cousins, sure that their stunned and horrified expressions matched his own. There were no words in that moment, but they all knew what the others were thinking.

_What have we just done? _

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think-I'd love to get your opinion on this chapter. The next one will be up next Thursday! <strong>

**Charlotte **


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks again for all the great reviews for the last chapter-I know I left you on a giant cliffhanger, but hopefully this chapter will make up for any stress I caused you! This one is definitely longer and you get some answers, some Steve, and caught up to the point where _Everything That Kills Me Makes Me Feel Alive_ correlates to. SO. It's a long chapter, but hopefully it's good. I'm not entirely sure I'm happy with it, so let me know what you think! **

**Standard disclaimers apply. **

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><p>Though they had disbanded for the night after the failed ransom attempt, discouraged and terrified that they had gotten their friend killed, they had all made their way back to the headquarters early the next morning to vigorously renew their search for Steve.<p>

Danny had a plan for that morning, and immediately went and hauled a large white board out of a storage closet, not sure quite when it had ended up there, and had started listing out all the evidence and information they had collected on it. Everything was jumbled in the office, on his desk, in his head, and he needed to be able to lay everything out they had, someplace easily seen and categorized, or else nothing was going to come out of the scraps they had pieced together. He wasn't sure why he hadn't done this earlier in the week, stopping himself from feeling even more guilty about not doing this sooner with the pathetic consolation that it wouldn't have done much good. Whether he could have laid it all out or not, they still had very little information, still had very few leads, and still had plenty of terrifying videos that, in the end, gave them nothing. Telling himself this didn't stop him from feeling like they had let things slip through their fingers before, but he was trying desperately not to lose himself in the quagmire of churning feelings that constantly threatened to swallow him whole.

Danny started with the evidence section, under which there was very little. Forensics had found nothing on Steve's items or the photos found at the initial crime scene, and they hadn't been able to track the emails that came into the joint account with the videos. The videos themselves gave very little clues as to where Steve was being held, other than that he was indoors somewhere. The man in the mask was a professional, and had given them very little to work with, making sure that the video was bouncing off of hundreds of proxy servers and keeping the videos dimly lit. No matter how good they were, no matter how skilled they were, there just wasn't any evidence for them to use to chase Steve down.

He had labeled the next section suspects, and thankfully that held a little bit more. Here he had placed Sara Marquez's photo because even though dead, she was still a major player in this somehow. Danny doubted that she had had no idea what was going on before this had all started. It was possible that they could look into her jail correspondences for clues, and Danny made a mental note to have Kono get to work on that. Next to her photo was that of Raymond Cruz. The limited information they had about him—drug producer and distributor, stepbrother to Sara—was listed under his picture, a picture that all of HPD had and was using in their massive manhunt for the man. The governor had even authorized the release of his picture to the press, in order to get the public on the lookout for him too. Not only was he undoubtedly the individual behind all of this, the mysterious client that the man in the mask kept referring to, but he was wanted for other crimes as well; to Danny, the most important thing that would come from finding him would be finding Steve.

The man in the mask had his own place on the display, though there was very little written there. They had a few ideas of who he might be, events that had taken place abroad that could possibly be linked to him, but nothing that gave them a sense of direction of where he could be currently hiding. He carefully added the new clue that he had Russians working for him, and made a mark next to two of the Russians who had made it onto their original list of suspects.

He listlessly started making another column, not sure if he was going to list the questions and things they didn't know, or pettily write their failures, when suddenly his phone rang.

He pulled it from its spot on his hip, looking at the number briefly, making note of it as one from Hawaii but unknown. Nonetheless, he wouldn't let anything go to voicemail these days, and so answered quickly. "This is—"

"Danny!" Steve's voice panted at him from the other end of the phone, and in his surprise, Danny almost dropped it.

"Steve!" His shout immediately brought Chin and Kono running into the main room, the latter immediately making a move towards the computer table to start a trace on the call. "Where are you? Did you escape? We're going to find you, I promise."

"S-shut up," Steve panted, his voice strained and quiet. "I-I got a phone off of one of them, took him out. I'm in the jungle s-somewhere, not sure where because I was unconscious—" His voice broke out here with a terrible cough, and Danny wondered which one of his injuries was causing that. "T-they're going to break through the door any second, so just keep tracking this, okay?"

"Steve, wait, what are you doing?" Danny couldn't help the question coming out of his mouth, couldn't help the need to keep his best friend on the line for just a little bit longer.

"I got out of my cell," he wheezed, "and I found a room with a window. Just keep tracking this!" After that, they heard silence until the rush of wind went through the speakers and then rustling, sounding as though Steve had, in fact, thrown the phone out of a window. Danny wished that was all they had heard though, because the sound of shouting, wood breaking, and fighting that indicated Steve's location had been breached was almost worse than the videos. He wanted to shout his partner's name, let him know they were coming for him, but he knew it was pointless—from the sudden lack of noise, Steve was beyond hearing them at the moment.

"Please tell me you got a trace on that," Danny said quietly, not quite willing to believe this whole nightmare might be coming to an end sometime soon.

There was a moment of silence, penetrated only by the sharp staccato of Kono's fingers on the keyboard. Then, she spoke the best sentence any of them had heard in quite some time. "Got it. I'm sending the address to HPD. Let's go."

* * *

><p>They approached the large concrete compound in the jungle with the lights and sirens off, not wanting to set off any panic that could result in Steve's death. As they cruised to a stop, the SWAT truck and other cop cars slid into place beside them, Danny took a calming breath to ready himself for the breach. He never particularly enjoyed this part of the job, never relished the adrenaline rush quite in the same way that his partner did. He liked the puzzle of the job, the interrogations, and the skill that it took to figure everything out; but he could do away with the life-or-death scenarios that happened in these instances. He had took much to live for, a daughter that he wanted to be able to go home to at the end of the day. But as much as he disliked this task, this one had him a thousand times more jumpy. He felt like he was back in North Korea, searching the bunker for Steve, waiting to be ambushed by the enemy and die alone in a foreign land—except this time, he knew his partner was somewhere in that building, and that knowledge drove him to put his vest on, double check his gun, and wait for the order to go.<p>

As soon as everyone was ready, Chin nodded at the other two members of the team, and then at Captain Grover. In unison, SWAT and the remaining members of Five-0 started towards the house, guns held high. As soon as they reached the door, Danny motioned for the lead officer with the battering ram to break down the door, which he did with an explosion of wood.

Danny knew that the kidnappers weren't expecting them, because there were loud curses that echoed throughout the house as soon as the door broke down, and the good guys started swarming in. They had barely made it three steps into the front room when bulllets rained down on them from above, catching one of the HPD officers in the shoulder before he could duck to cover. Chin's shotgun took care of that man right as another came charging out at them from around the corner, and from then on, it was a consistent exchange of gunfire for a few minutes.

Once they had finally cleared the room, five dead thugs lying at their feet, Danny, Chin, and Kono moved forward, only to be stopped by the sound of shooting echoing down the hall to them. They looked at each other, panic written in all of their faces, as Danny gave voice to their concern. "It's Steve—we've got to go." They took off running, leaving Grover to clear the remaining rooms in their effort to get to their friend.

The sight that met them as they rounded the corner to approach the last chamber was not one that they had expected: Steve was standing in the hallway, a rifle in his hands, and two men down at his feet. He looked up just as they were approaching, and a smile broke out on his bruised and battered face. "N-nice timing, guys," he said, still sounding as out of breath as he had on the phone.

Danny just stared at his friend for a moment, before said friend became a little bit wobbly on his feet, and started to lean back into the wall for support. "Whoa, there, Steve, we got you." He immediately grabbed his partner to support him, taking most of the taller man's weight as they made their way back down the hallway. "You just couldn't let us rescue you properly, could you?" Danny joked quietly, diverting his attention from the terrible shape McGarrett was in. "You had to do half the work yourself."

"I c-couldn't miss out on all the fun. As soon as you distracted them, I was able to take the two guarding me down. Did you get the main guy, the one with the—" Steve broke off speaking to motion with his hand around his face. "You know, t-the mask?"

"We don't know what he looks like with the mask off, brah," Kono responded quickly, "so it's possible he's here and we just don't know. But we'll shoot anyone with a mask on, make no doubt. We'll get him, I promise."

"It's f-fine," Steve panted, wincing as they rounded the corner and he slipped in Danny's grasp slightly. He waved off the blonde's apologetic look, and instead focused on walking forward out of the house. "I figured you wouldn't because he ran as soon as you took down the door. Y-you interrupted his next video, so thanks."

Danny felt his anger swell at his partner's casual mention of those horrific videos, but kept quiet as they came into the front room and the HPD officers started coming forward to speak to Steve, ask him how he was doing, to tell him they were glad he was alright. Steve just nodded at all of them, thanking them in turn for coming out to get him. Danny couldn't help but roll his eyes at his partner's manners, still ever present, but didn't say anything to that effect either. Instead, he nodded at Chin, who immediately went to call the Army Evac chopper down from where it had been circling.

As soon as he could hear it starting to land, he looked up at his partner. "Okay babe, the chopper's here, and we're going to take you to the hospital. And do not tell me you're not going, because you're a mess, and I'm pretty sure I can feel your ribs moving against my side, which is gross and shouldn't happen on a normal person. So hospital, okay?"

Steve gave a quick nod. "You're not getting any argument from me," he said quietly. "Not today."

"Okay, now I'm officially worried about you," Danny quipped, slipping into their banter as easily as he always did, letting it push away the feelings of guilt that were creeping back up over seeing firsthand his partner's condition. The smile vanished from his face, though, when Steve tripped going out of the house and paled with pain at the sudden jarring motion. "Shit. Chin, a little help?"

Chin ran over quickly, after confirming that Kono could clear the scene and meet them at the hospital later. He maneuvered himself to be under Steve's other arm, paralleling their positions from North Korea. The scene was too similar for Danny's comfort, the scene of them helping an injured Steve into a chopper to be whisked away from the horror behind them.

The parallels continued as soon as the three of them were in the waiting chopper, with Steve being all smiles and chatting up the Army Evac team casually about their lives, their tours, their families. Danny watched his partner, slightly incredulous that he could be this relaxed, but then he noticed how tightly he was gripping the gun that was still in his hands from the shootout. He thought about reaching out and taking it, but didn't want to mess up whatever was happening—a happy partner was better than a stoic, in shock partner, he figured.

The ride to Queen's passed quickly, and before Danny knew it, they were landing on the roof where Danny could see a trio of doctors and nurses waiting with a gurney to bring his partner into the hospital. The chopper touched down with a slight bounce, and Danny saw Steve's face pale a bit before he squared his shoulder to stand up, moving himself out of the chopper and towards the gurney, waving off Danny and Chin's assistance.

Danny could bet that Steve had had wished he had asked for the help when he stumbled getting out of the helicopter and started to go down, but thankfully Chin was able to place a steadying hand on his shoulder to help him get his balance back. But it was that touch, the one that Steve wasn't expecting, that caused the shift in his behavior that Danny was expecting. Chin must have seen Steve's body tense in the same way because he stepped back just in time to avoid Steve's swing—one that Danny could see had a tremendous amount of force behind it.

Before Danny could react, he saw the defensiveness and hostility leave his partner's body and the shock of what he had just tried to do, of what he just endured, settle in. He was falling to the ground before any of the hospital staff could reach him, before Danny could be there to catch him. But it only took a second and the blonde man was at his partner's side, lifting his head gently from the pavement of the roof to rest softly on his bent knees. He didn't care about the blood or sweat that were soaking into his pants, didn't care about anything other than the man laid out on the ground before him breathing heavily.

He could feel Steve starting to shake under him, and as the hospital staff regained themselves and started to rush to Steve's side, Danny started quietly talking into his partner's ear. "You hold on, okay? You're safe now, I've got you. And you have to stay calm because if something happened to you, or if my daughter heard that I wasn't taking care of you properly, there will be hell to pay, I know it. I secretly think half the time she likes you more than me, you know? You're the fun uncle, the cool guy to hang around with—she wants to show you off to all of your friends. It's impossible to compete with you and your good looks and your mysterious past…" He trailed off though, because the light broke through the clouds all of a sudden, and in the new light, Danny cold see even more clearly the burn marks on his partner's chest, the bruises marring most of his body, the stab mark that he hadn't noticed until now, the original bullet wound high on the shoulder, and the plethora of other injuries that shouldn't be there.

The smaller man could feel his anger surge to unbearable levels in the moment, and he knew that if he wasn't the lifeline Steve was clearly holding onto at the moment, he'd be off and running in the other direction to find the son of a bitch, the bastard in the mask, who did this.

And once he had found him, no matter how long it took, he would make him pay. Danny had learnt some things about pain over the course of his career, and he was more than willing to test out new methods on this man to make him pay. Just for revenge.

He realized suddenly that in his almost unsuccessful effort to control his rage, his effort to contain the fervor that was threatening to burn him up, Steve wasn't the only one shaking. He could feel the tremors running through his body, the adrenaline coursing through him as though he's just won a fight. He tried to calm himself down, take a few deep breaths and refocus on his partner, and finally the red lifted from his eyes just a little bit. He looked up, becoming aware again of the frantic efforts of the medical staff to get his partner's heartbeat under control. Then he became of aware of a set of eyes on him and scanned the scene, realizing that as everyone else was watching Steve, Chin was watching him.

He could see some of his own fury reflected back at him from the other man's eyes, and knew that even though Steve may not have been his best friend, this was just as tough on the older Hawaiian man. And he could see the question in Chin's eyes, the inquiry of how Danny himself was doing. So Danny just shook his head no, because he wasn't okay, and he didn't think he'd be okay until the sight of Steve more than half-dead in that compound was washed out of his memory, until it wasn't the burning, flaming image it was now.

Finally they got Steve stabilized enough to move him to the gurney he had refused before, and they were rushing into the hospital and the waiting elevator that would bring him down to the surgical level. The whole time, Danny retained a grip on his partner's hand, not caring that he passed out minutes ago and that the lifeline was more for him now than anyone else. But as soon as they make it out of the lift and to the double doors of the surgical wing, the nurse turned to him gently and spoke in a soft tone. "You need to let go now, sir. You can't go back here with him."

It felt like a physical blow to Danny, and he stepped back—releasing his partner's hand without realizing what he was doing. At that moment, the gurney started forward again, and Danny did too, only to be stopped by the upraised hand of the elderly nurse in front of him. "You can't go with him in there, sir."

At her repeated refusal, all of the fury, the fear, the terror from the past few days descended on him, and he couldn't help but yell. "I _have _to go back there with him, do you understand? I need to make sure that he's okay and that he's protected, because I didn't once and this is what it got us! Okay, so I need to go back there, and make sure he's safe this time because I'm not going to let anything happen to him again! So just move, because I goddamn will be going back there with him!" There were tears on his face at this point, but he didn't care, didn't feel concern for anything but the man being wheeled away from him.

"I'm sorry sir, but you can't. There's no family allowed past this point. That's the rule, and you're going to have to sit in the waiting room with everyone else. I'm sorry, but it's better for everyone. I understand that this is difficult for you, but not only is it against policy, but believe me, you're not going to want to see this. So please, just go wait and we'll be out to update you soon."

"But—" He wanted to keep going, to keep trying to get her to understand, but Chin's hand on his shoulder stopped him from trying again. Mostly because that calming presence behind him, the gentle touch, proved to be his undoing. Everything that he'd been trying to contain came rushing out, and he backed against the wall, sliding down it as quiet sobs escaped him. He felt, rather than saw, Chin sit down next to him, and he leaned into his friend's shoulder as he tried to focus on breathing. It wasn't until he could start to hear Chin's voice again, calming repeating that Steve was alive and that he was going to be fine, that he was able to start to get some control again. He quickly muttered an apology, wiping his eyes furiously with the back of his hand, to try to take away the proof of his breakdown.

Chin waved him off, knowing that this had taken a larger toll on the blonde man than the others because he blamed himself for letting Steve be taken from the crime scene in the first place. It seemed that no one else in the hallway minded his outburst either, and while he was incredibly grateful for that, but the embarrassment was setting in. He needed to get out for some air, and more than anything he just needed to be alone for the moment to process everything that had happened.

But Chin wasn't about to let that happen, and when Danny stood up, he stood up with him. "Before you go running off to wallow in the guilt none of the rest of think you deserve, let's just go sit in the waiting room and wait, because you know this type of stuff never goes quickly when it's Steve."

Danny looked wistfully out the door, but nodded regardless, and followed his friend dutifully to the waiting room, to settle in for the long haul.

It was just Chin and he, for Kono called an hour in and said that clearing the scene was taking longer than originally thought, but that the good news was that they found a trail in the woods behind the compound of where the man in the mask might have gone. They promised to keep her updated on Steve, if she promised to do the same with the trail, and then settled back in.

By the second hour of waiting, Danny was pacing up and down the floor, not caring that he was probably bugging everyone else in there with the constant shuffle of his feet. He couldn't just sit there waiting, wishing that the doctor would hurry up and give them an update about his best friend. He'd been given crap before from the very man they were waiting on about not being the most patient man in the world, and he knew that he was proving that statement true as he worked away back and forth across the squeaky floor.

Finally, after almost three hours, a man in bloodstained scrubs came into the room, and called out for the family of Steve McGarrett. Immediately Danny and Chin stood up. "That's us."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Doctor Sloane. I was the surgeon who worked on your brother—"

"Best friend, actually, but you'll find I'm also next of kin," Danny interjected quietly.

"Alright. Well, Mr. Mc—"

"It's Commander McGarrett, really," Danny corrected automatically. "He's a SEAL."

"Very well," the doctor said with what was clearly forced patience at the second interruption. "_Commander _McGarrett is currently in the ICU, sedated, and on a ventilator to help with his breathing. He has an extensive list of injuries, indicative of physical torture for an extended period of time. He has seven broken ribs, one of which punctured his lung, most likely occurring a few days ago but it was agitated further during his episode on the roof. That's what caused his breathing to become so labored, as the air was escaping more quickly out of his lungs and into his chest cavity, causing a pneumothorax. This also caused internal bleeding, which we were able to get under control during his surgery—although he has lost a large amount of blood as this has been leaking since the injury occurred. He has a bullet wound just below his right collarbone, into which an infection has set in. We're treating that with strong antibiotics, but that is a source of concern and we'll be monitoring him closely for any deterioration in his condition. He has a moderate concussion, and there's evidence of multiple blows to the face and one laceration. He sustained a sharp force wound, most likely from a knife, to his side, which also caused some internal bleeding; this is also showing signs of infection, but it doesn't appear to be as badly infected as the bullet wound. There are burn marks on his abdomen, which indicate some form of electrocution; we're monitoring his heart closely for any irregularities or undue stress. The electrolyte levels in his blood also suggest that he's experienced a fairly large seizure in the past few days, so we're watching his brain activity, but as of yet, everything appears normal—we'll run more tests when he wakes up to be sure, but I don't think that any longterm damage is something to be overly concerned about. Commander McGarrett also shows signs of a few heavy beatings, and both his spleen and liver are bruised, which will be cause for concern in terms of pain when he wakes up. His right ulna has a hairline fracture, and his right shoulder shows evidence of repeated dislocation and resetting, so we'll need to assess for nerve damage when he wakes up. He's also severely dehydrated, so along with blood, we're pumping him with lots of fluids."

The doctor paused, clearly correctly reading the expressions on Danny and Chin's faces that indicated their horror—and in Danny's case, anger. "I know it's a lot to take in, but you have to understand that even though it's a long list of injuries, your friend is actually doing quite well." At Danny's pointed look, the doctor corrected himself hastily. "Well, well enough considering the circumstances. He is listed as being in critical condition, but he's also stable. He's lost a lot of blood, has internal injuries, and currently has a chest tube in conjunction with the ventilator, but he's alive. He took a hell of a beating—a few, I'd say—but he's here. And he's still fighting. This seems bad, I know, but I don't see why your friend won't make a full recovery given time. Don't give up on him because he clearly hasn't given up on you." The doctor stood at this, and offered a hand to both of the men in front of him. "He should be settled in his room by now, so you're welcome to go back and see him. The nurses will let you know the rules about visiting, but you should see him for yourself."

Chin nodded and thanked the doctor, while Danny sat there, slightly numb and in shock. He knew the doctor gave them good news, but he couldn't help but focus on all the injuries that Steve had received because they hadn't been able to save him sooner. They hadn't even been able to do anything without Steve, and Danny knew that he couldn't go in a face his partner. Not yet, and the way he was feeling, maybe not ever again. It didn't matter to him that he just been with him—that was before he had known what Steve had suffered as a result of his ineptitude. And in competition with those feelings of uselessness, the need for revenge was eating away at him, eating away at his sanity and making the likelihood of him hitting something—or someone—very high. So at Chin's questioning look, he quietly shook his head. "You should go back and see him. I'm going to update Kono and then… then I'll, uh, I'll be in."

Chin gave him once more look, but nodded nonetheless. "Okay, I'll go stay with him."

Not waiting to see if Chin was indeed making his way to Steve's room or not, Danny immediately turned around and walked out of the hospital as quickly as he could. He knew the path by heart, having been here one too many times with his partner, and focused on breathing deeply instead of forcing his feet in a particular direction. As soon he was clear of the hospital doors, he sucked in the fresh air, and pulled out his phone to call Kono as promised.

She picked up quickly, and Danny could tell that she had been waiting for this call. "Danny, how is he?"

"He's alive," he asserted quickly, knowing that that was what she needed to know most right now. "He's not in great shape, and he's got a chest tube in right now because one of his many broken ribs punctured a lung." He didn't want to recount the litany of things his best friend had to heal from this time, and instead tried to relay the focus back onto the positive for the sake of the rookie. "The doctor said he's in good shape considering everything, and that he should make a full recovery. No thanks to us," he added bitterly, not able to keep the anger from creeping back into his tone.

"Danny, this isn't our fault."

"No, it's not _your_ fault. There's a difference. I let him get taken—taken right out from under our noses after picking a fight with him that he certainly didn't need. If I had just kept my mouth shut, left well enough alone, and been a good friend like he is to me, we wouldn't be here right now!"

"That's not true, Danny," Kono countered quietly, the background noise of the scene fading slightly as she seemed to move away from those near her. "Clearly this person was going to try to take Steve no matter what, and it could just have easily happened when he went home from work, or ran to the grocery store, or any other time. Yes, the circumstances were unfortunate, but it is not your fault that this psychopath kidnapped him. And you're an amazing friend to Steve—half the time I think you're the other thing keeping him together, keeping him here with us. If you weren't here, he'd have run back to the Navy by now, probably getting himself blown up on a covert op somewhere. So just stop it. Don't ruin a good thing by guilt-tripping yourself."

Danny blew out the breath he'd been holding whilst Kono had been speaking, but that release didn't help release the tension still coursing through him. He could see that Kono thought what she said was true, but it just wasn't. He knew that, could feel it deep down in his bones. "We'll agree to disagree, 'kay?" She started to speak again, but he just pushed past her. "Anyway, thanks for staying at the scene, and come over as soon as you're free. Tell HPD we'll give our statements later. Alright?"

"Danny, I—"

"Talk to you soon." He hung up quickly, not willing to listen to more of her empty platitudes any longer, and wheeled around to slam his fist into the cement wall of the hospital. And then, once he had pulled back, he hit it again. And then a third time, because he relished this pain, this simple pain of almost breaking his knuckles; because it brought him away from the complicated emotions he'd dealt with all week, if only for a moment. He looked down at his now bleeding hand, and struck the wall once more for good measure. It burned and ached, and he knew somewhere, detachedly, in the back of his mind that he should probably stop if he didn't want to break his hand, but he didn't care. He wiped the blood off onto his already ruined shirt, and then sighed, knowing it was time to go keep vigil at Steve's bedside. Because even if he didn't want to, he owed him that much.

* * *

><p><strong>And there we are! There's one more chapter and an epilogue after this, so we're getting towards the end. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought! <strong>

**Charlotte **


	6. Chapter 6

**Well this is the last chapter, although there's an epilogue coming next. I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, so please leave a review and let me know what you think! :) **

**Standard disclaimers apply. **

* * *

><p>After four days, Danny's back was killing him from sitting and sleeping in the very uncomfortable hospital chair beside his partner's bed. He stood up and stretched, hoping that some of the kinks would work themselves out if he just moved, although seeing as it was past midday and he'd done this before, it was unlikely to succeed. He moved to the window, looking out at the sunny day on the other side, wishing more than anything that the four of them could be at the beach, surfing, rather than stuck in the hospital. Although, the cousins may have been at the beach, for all he knew, seeing as he had told them, ordered them, to get out of the hospital for the afternoon. They had capitulated only with the promise that he would take his own advice as soon as one of them got back, but he knew in his heart he wasn't leaving Steve's side. For one thing, they still hadn't caught the man in the mask, and Raymond Cruz was still in the wind; it just wasn't safe for him to be on his own yet. But even more than that, Steve hadn't woken up yet, and Danny wasn't going to risk leaving him to wake up alone.<p>

He turned to look at the man occupying so many of this thoughts, and sighed. Though they had removed ventilator the night before, Steve had yet to regain consciousness or any sort of healthy pallor; although the unconsciousness was a result of heavy sedation meant to allow his lung time to heal. This had apparently worked, seeing as they had been able to remove the chest tube that morning, but it did nothing for Danny's state of mind. The fact that Steve was still battling a low temperature didn't help Danny's worry, although the blonde thought he should probably be grateful that the fever from the infection had finally broken yesterday afternoon. He was glad he didn't have to deal with another day of worried looks from the doctors and nurses as his partner's temperature had slowly ticked upwards, because he didn't think he could take it.

Danny's eyes moved from Steve's face to this chest, which really gave him no respite from the bad. Steve was bruised magnificently, his skin such an ugly rainbow that it was harder to tell where he wasn't bruised than where he was. The surgical cut had gauze and padding over the stitches, competing for attention with the dressing on his stomach over the burn marks, which in turn was competing with the dressing over his stab wound, which was competing with the slightly bloodied gauze over the bullet wound on his chest. The white of the all the gauze was making a stark contrast to the black brace on his right shoulder, immobilizing the damaged joint, and the black cast on his lower arm.

And that was just what Danny could see. He knew that Steve was going to be in a world of pain when he woke up, what with the broken ribs, the bruised organs, the concussion, and the after-effects of his seizure. Whenever it was that he woke up, that was. They had taken him off the sedatives at the same time of the chest tube, and had warned him it might be some time before Steve made his way back to the land of the living, but the waiting was eating at Danny's patience and what little sanity he had left.

He rubbed a hand over his face, angling himself towards the window once more in the hopes that maybe sending his wishes of Steve's awakening and health would reach the universe easier if not confined by the stark white walls. He knew it was irrational, but at this point, he didn't know what else to do. He had to think of something positive, lest be consumed again by the guilt and worry that had been gnawing at him heavily in the silence of the hospital room. He leaned forward, placing his forehead against the cool glass, praying for a peep from his partner, but when he shot a look over his shoulder, nothing had changed.

The last rays of the sun were starting to fade into pinks and purples when it finally happened. Danny was sitting in the chair, finally reading a book that he'd been meaning to get to for ages when his cell phone rang. Seeing that it was Chin, he answered without the hesitation that he had had when anyone had called this week. "What is it? Did something happen?"

The light chuckle that met his ears was as welcome as a heavenly chorus at this, because they needed good news. "You could say that. Raymond Cruz has been apprehended."

"_What_?" That was the last thing he had expected to come out of Chin's mouth. "How the hell did that happen?"

"Apparently he thought that he had laid low long enough and that with the fervor dying down, he'd be safe to move. Authorities caught him trying to get onboard a cruise ship that made a convenient stop in a country with no extradition. Thankfully we had plainclothes stationed at the port. We got him, and he's not going anywhere."

"That's good. Really good."

"No, Danny, that's great. We're one step closer to ending this whole thing—all the hired hands at the house are either in custody or dead, and now we've got Cruz. Now we can focus all our effort on catching the damned man in the mask. This is a great break in the case, brah."

"No, of course. You're right."

"Anything new on the Steve-front?"

Danny threw a look over his shoulder at the other man's still stationary form. "No. Not since they took out the chest tube this morning. He's still completely nonresponsive. The doctor said that was normal with the sedation and whatnot, but…" he trailed off with a shrug, not knowing what else to say, not knowing if Chin wanted to hear his tirade of emotions right now.

"It'll happen, Danny. Give him time."

"Yeah, sure."

"Try to stay positive. Do you want us to come in now, or later? HPD offered to let us interview Cruz, and I'd love to get a crack at him." Chin's tone darkened with anger ever so slightly here, and Danny knew that if wasn't at the bastard's interview, Chin would take care of it.

"No, go. Just give him a bit of hell for me alright?"

"Don't you worry. Between Kono and myself, we'll give him what he deserves."

"Good. Keep me posted."

"Will do, and you do the same."

Danny hung up the phone without a formal goodbye and slipped it into his pocket quickly. He moved back to the chair that he had spent so much time in lately, and cursed quietly as his joints protested the downward movement of sitting down. He leaned his head back, letting it hang over the edge, and closed his eyes. He was so damn tired, and even hearing good news from Chin didn't help lift his spirits. He sighed, and rubbed his eyes, wishing for the thousandth time that none of this had ever happened.

It was just as he was thinking this that the beeping on the heart rate monitor started going haywire, leaping from its steady pace to a much more frantic rhythm. Danny immediately slammed forward in the chair, expecting any second to have it stop all beeping, indicating that his partner's heart was flat lining as it had done twice before. But instead, he was met with the sight of Steve's blue eyes flying rapidly across the room, panic written all over his face. As fast as he could, Danny was up and rushing over to his partner's side. "Steve, you're fine, calm down. You're okay."

It seemed to take a few seconds for Danny's voice to seep through, but after repeating himself for a second time, Steve's eyes finally found him and some of the dread on the SEAL's face lessened. "Danny?"

"That's right, I'm here." Their normal boundaries be damned, Danny grabbed his friend's hand, and squeezed tightly. "You're okay, you're safe."

Steve nodded wearily, and he took another look around the room more calmly this time. "How long?" His voice was raspy and strained, and Danny immediately gave him an ice cube from the cup he had kept stocked permanently in preparation for this moment.

As Steve was sucking gratefully, Danny answered. "How long have you been here? We got you…" Danny didn't know what to say here, didn't know how to tell him it had been five days since they had rescued him without bringing up that god awful house and bring back those memories. "You've been in the hospital almost five days."

Steve nodded again, obviously making note in his mental calendar, and then cleared his throat a tiny bit. "How bad?" Danny sighed and felt all the guilt that he had been trying to keep at bay for the past few days wash over him again full force. Steve must have seen something on his face, because he squeezed Danny's hand gently. "You know none of this is your fault right?"

But Danny wasn't sure of that, even with so many people telling him so, and hearing his partner say so in his hoarse, rough voice did nothing to assuage that feeling. So instead of answering, he just disentangled his hand from his partner's and moved toward the door. "I'm going to grab the doctor so he can update you, okay? I'll be right back."

"Danny—"

"I'll be right back," he repeated, halfway through the door in his effort to get away from Steve's earnestly forgiving eyes.

It was only after the doctor's discussion with the patient, a new round of tests just for safety's sake, calls to the cousins, and the expected argument from the SEAL to leave the hospital as soon as possible, that Danny had to once again deal with being one-on-one with his partner.

He wouldn't let himself leave his friend's side, but at the same time, he didn't know how to act around him. He had pushed everything aside whilst Steve was unconscious, had ignored as best he could the feelings that had be bearing down on him during the week that Steve was missing, had tried his best to bury all memories of his breakdown in the hallway. But now the silence was oppressive, and he knew that Steve was not going to let his reticence and awkward behavior go as well as he knew himself. So he braced himself for whatever Steve was going to throw at him, and was surprised when instead his partner asked about the case—his case.

"Did you get him?"

The question threw Danny for such a loop that he had no response other than the intelligent, "Huh?"

"Cruz. Did you get him?"

"Yeah, actually just a few hours ago. How did you know that it was him?"

"The bastard in the mask told me—gloated, really—of what was going on right before you guys showed up. He was going to kill me, but thought that I should know why before I died. One of his rules, I guess. I barely even remembered who Sara Marquez was, but clearly Cruz remembered me." Steve coughed at the end of this, face paling with pain as the movement clearly stressed his various injuries. Danny instantly helped him with a cup of water, trying not to dwell on the matter of fact way that Steve had reported his near-death.

"You did—our team did—everything right on that one, Steve. Cruz was deranged and neither he nor Marquez had anyone to blame for themselves for their situation. And believe me, Cruz is going to know that by the time Chin and Kono are done interviewing him."

Steve gave a small smile but then turned somber again. "I'm assuming most of the other guys were either shot or captured in the raid. What about him?"

Even without the venom in Steve's tone, Danny didn't have to ask who 'he' was. "Not yet. But don't worry, we'll get him. He's not getting away with this. _I'm_ not letting him get away with it." The other man nodded, eyes zoning out for a minute, and rather than lose him to whatever menacing thoughts were circling, Danny took a turn questioning him. "You have any idea who he is?"

Without looking at his partner, Steve answered quietly and darkly. "His behavior, the way he talked, his pleasure over what he was doing… it reminded me of a merc my team once came across in Afghanistan, but I wasn't sure. I only ever heard about him, never came across him personally; rumors were that he cleared out the area pretty quickly after we took out a Taliban cell. But I don't know, it could have been anyone."

"Well whoever it was, we'll catch him."

Steve nodded in agreement, before leaning his head back onto the pillows, and Danny could see the fine lines of pain all over his friend's face. "You have this wonderful pain pump, here, McGarret, and with a few bruised organs and your other laundry list of injuries, I suggest you use it."

"Not yet," Steve whispered back, lacking the energy to speak at full volume. "Not until you actually talk to me and get over whatever damn guilt complex you have going on."

"Guilt complex? _Guilt complex_? You just woke up from four days of beauty sleep, which did little good I might say, and you have to start using the big words already. And here I was thinking you'd at least give it a few days before you'd be back to your annoying self."

"You're avoiding the topic, Danny.."

Danny was avoiding the topic, avoiding it with everything he could, because he wasn't ready for Steve to forgive him. He wasn't ready to forgive himself. So instead, he faked his partner out a bit by moving closer, letting his arms dangle over the bedrail. "You're right, Steven, I am. But that's okay, because you're avoiding your pain meds, and you're never going to get out of here if you're stressing your body out like that." Before Steve could do anything, Danny reached down and depressed the button on the pain pump, releasing the salvation they both needed.

Right as his eyes slipped closed, though, Steve got the last word. "Not your fault, Danno…"

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><p>Chin and Kono stopped by not too long after that, and though Danny noted the bruised flesh on Chin's knuckles, he didn't do anything but nod his head in thanks. After a hug from Kono, they all got down to business.<p>

"Did Cruz confess?"

"Not at first," Chin responded quickly, sparing a glance at Kono. 'He denied everything, claiming that it was all a set up, even the drug charges from last year. But then after we told him Sara was dead, things changed."

"He slipped up, you see," Kono broke in, her tone just slightly smug. "He started yelling at us that we had botched the transfer and that he hoped McGarrett was dead. Only I hadn't told him how Sara had died or when, so with that admission we basically had him dead to rights. He gave it up after that, making a deal in exchange for taking the death penalty on the table. The DA went for it, and we thought it'd be better than risking having him back on the street during a trial, He'll be in jail for the rest of his life."

"Good. Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll get shanked in prison by a fellow inmate."

"I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to say things like that as a cop, Danny," Chin said calmly.

"You disagreeing with me?"

"Not at all," the older man replied quickly. "Without him, none of this would have happened, so frankly I don't give a shit what happens to him from here on out."

"Good."

There was silence for a minute, before Kono spoke. "How's the boss?"

"Oh you know, stubborn as always when it comes to hospitals and pain meds, but doing better, I think. The doctor said that his fever is finally coming down and that he's beating the infection. His chest sounds good as well, and the rest is just going to take time. He did say that he didn't think there was nerve damage in Steve's shoulder, but that he might need some physical therapy."

"That's good. Have you two talked yet?"

Danny immediately turned away from her, deflecting the question with his body language as much as his words. "What's there to talk about? He'll be fine."

"Yeah, but you're not, brah," she replied quietly, as stubborn on the issue as Steve had tried to be.

But Danny just sighed and closed his eyes. "How about you guys go home tonight and get some sleep—some real sleep—and then come and spell me in the morning, okay?"

He saw the meaningful look that passed between the cousins, but couldn't find it in himself to care, let alone call them out on it. "Sure, Danny, we can do that," Chin responded, ignoring Kono's quick glare. "Call us if anything changes tonight." The Jersey detective nodded, hugged them goodbye, and then settled back in his chair.

He wasn't there very long, though, because just a few minutes after the other two members of his team had left, Steve started talking in his sleep, clearly agitated. Danny was by his partner's side in an instant, running a hand through Steve's damp hair like he would Grace's when she was having a nightmare. "You're safe, Steve. It's okay."

That didn't seem to help, though, and instead the SEAL just seemed to get more distressed. He started tossing and turning, clearly sending pain shooting through his body if the correlating whimpers were anything to judge by. Having been through this before, Danny knew that he didn't want to be anywhere near his partner when he awoke. So he moved to the end of his bed, smacked Steve's foot and then jumped out of the way before any kicks or punches could make to him. But hitting him seemed to do the trick, because Steve sat up immediately, panting heavily. "S-sorry. Did I—"

"Hurt me?" Danny finished, knowing that that would be his friend's first concern. "No, I'm fine. Are you?" At Steve's blank look, he waved his hand in his partner's direction. "You know, fine."

"Uh, yeah. Just…" He trailed off, clearly unsure.

Danny paused for a moment, nearly asking why this happened, what it was about, when it hit him. "Did this have anything to do with what you saw with the, uh, the venom?"

Steve's eyes, the second before staring off in the distance, focused in on him with laser precision. "Yeah."

"Want to elaborate? Wait, let me guess, it's classified."

"Yes, Danny, it is," Steve responded wearily. "Most of my nightmares come from things that are."

"Right," he shot back quietly; awkwardness settling over him as he was once again hit with the realization that this time, this nightmare was his fault. He settled back into his chair, not saying anything and uncharacteristically letting silence fall back over the room.

This apparently did not sit well with Steve, though; because the injured man had barely let him get settled before he attacked. "What, that's it? Usually you give me the rant about that I can talk to you regardless, Navy regulations be damned. What's going on with you?"

Danny sighed—he could see the tension in Steve's faced caused by the pain, but his partner's eyes were clear and determined. "Nothing, alright? I just didn't want to push you."

"Bull shit."

"Just drop it, Steve."

"No, I'm not going to drop it. I know I don't say this often, but you're my best friend, and I'm not going to just let it go when you're being evasive." The SEAL struggled to sit up, his face paling with pain as he struggled. Despite their budding argument, Danny moved to his partner's side quickly to help him, lest he injure himself further.

After he got Steve settled, he moved back once more, and turned his back to the bed. "I just—"

Steve interrupted him in a rough and quiet tone, his words showing Danny that his partner saw more than Danny ever gave him credit for. "You're still blaming yourself for all of this, even though you're not responsible for any of it."

Danny tried to hold it together, but in the face of the direct question, his dam finally broke. "It _is _my fault, Steven!" He wheeled back around, hands punctuating his sentence. "This whole damn thing—you in the bed, all of it—is my fault!"

"No it's not. None of this happened—"

"I let you go!" Danny cried out, guilt and anguish bleeding through into his voice. "I let you walk off at an active crime scene, completely by yourself, because I was angry at you, and you got taken because of it! I should have been there, I should have stopped it!" He took a few deep breaths to try to calm down, avoiding Steve's eyes at any cost.

"Danny, look at me." Steve waited a beat, and then repeated himself. "Look at me." He waited until Danny turned back around and finally met his eyes before continuing. "I walked off, Danny. _I _left on my own volition, and nothing you could have done would have stopped me. I knew that I was going alone into a potentially un-cleared scene. I knew all that, but I've been in places a thousand times more dangerous all alone, so clearly I wasn't going to bat an eye at walking along the docks by myself. And I'm a SEAL—if someone had come up and attacked me, I would have been fine—but they surprised me, shot me, and were on me before I could fight back. But none of that is your fault." He coughed, throat dry and sore, but still he pushed on because, for once, Danny didn't interrupt. "And clearly these guys were out to get me. What—were you supposed to know that this was coming? Psychically know and follow me home? Follow me everywhere? Get yourself kidnapped or killed in the process of being my bodyguard? You had no way of knowing this was going to happen, and if they hadn't gotten me there, they would have gotten me somewhere else. I don't blame you, Danny, and you shouldn't blame yourself."

"But you should!" Danny shouted back, not caring if the nurses came running. "I'm your partner! I'm supposed to have your back, and I not only let you get taken but I couldn't find you. I couldn't even rescue you from that hellhole—I let you rot there because we couldn't find anything. I couldn't even get to you, and I left you alone to get the shit beat out of you! I let you get tortured! I left it up to you to rescue yourself. I failed you."

"You're an idiot. You did have my back—you do. I knew that, and that's what got me through. Because I knew without a doubt that you were out there looking for me. Yes, I saw an opportunity to get out and I took it, but without you guys—without you waiting by that phone, ready to help—I'd be dead. You didn't fail. You got me out. I'm not going to let you beat yourself up over this together because your guilt will kill our friendship, and…" He stopped, trying to adjust himself in the bed in an effort to get a control of his emotions, but the pain wouldn't let him. Instead, he took a deep breath and swallowed before continuing. "You guys are my family here, Danny. You're all I have left. And if I were to lose that, I'll go somewhere else to find a new one. Just like I always have, I guess, when I lose someone, when someone leaves. Don't let your guilt be the thing that breaks this—breaks us—and ruins a good thing. Because I won't just lose out, but so will Chin and Kono, and even Grace. Please just recognize that this isn't your fault."

Silence reigned once more, and Danny took a deep breath, trying to sort though his emotions. He was all over the place, the parts of him that were still blaming himself warring with the parts that desperately wanted to believe and accept what Steve was saying. He didn't know how to deal with all of it, but he knew that he couldn't do it in that room with his partner watching him. "I'm going to take a walk, alright?"

"Danny…"

"I'll be back, I promise. I just need some air and then…then we'll talk more." Then without looking back to see his friend's face, he slipped out the door quickly.

He wandered through the quiet hospital hallways, appreciating the silence and the moonlight filtering through the windows. There were hardly any noises to intrude upon his thoughts, and though he usually enjoyed having some sort of racket around him, the silence meant that he couldn't run away from these thoughts as he had been for a while.

He kept replaying what his partner had told him, trying to focus on the logic in his words. What McGarrett had said was true—Danny didn't know the kidnapping was going to happen, and they probably would've gotten Steve no matter what. It couldn't have been stopped, he supposed, even if he hadn't left McGarrett alone at the crime scene. All that was true.

And yet, he had still let his partner down. Even if it would have happened anyway, he wasn't able to get to Steve quickly, to get him out. And for that, he wasn't sure he would ever forgive himself.

He went around the floor of the hospital twice, not any closer to figuring out how he had felt then when he had left. But he figured he owed Steve something, so he made his way slowing back to his partner's hospital room. He was so lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear the voices coming from Steve's room until he had already put his hand on the door to push it the rest of the way open.

Something stopped him though, and he drew his hand back, leaning in closer to hear through the gap in the door. Whoever was talking was quiet, but there was something about his voice that was familiar in a way that made Danny uncomfortable almost on a primal level. He crouched down, hand on the butt of his gun that he hadn't taken off as Steve's official protection, and waited to get some clue as to the identity of who was in there.

There was a lull in the conversation before Steve spoke, his voice hard and full of venom. "You could have just left. Why come back?"

"Oh, Commander, if only it was that easy. And it's not nearly as fun, and really, what's life without a bit of fun? But you see, the first time you came across my path was outside of Kandahar and I was in the middle of a major deal for my associates—you would know them as the Taliban, the very men you were fighting against. This was a very lucrative deal for me, but your team wiped out the cells before payment could be made, and I barely escaped unnoticed."

"But not entirely unscathed, I see. I thought it might have been you, you son of a bitch," Steve spit out, and if Danny wasn't already sure that it was the man in the mask in the room with his partner, that pretty much confirmed it. He almost moved in, but then his partner threw out a question that clearly he needed answered, so Danny stayed where he was. He told himself he'd only let it play out so far before taking over, but he wasn't sure he could resist even if it meant letting his partner get some closure he clearly needed. "So what, you took this job just to get back at me for Afghanistan?"

"For shame, Commander. I can't believe that you would think so little of me after all that we've been through. It's true that revenge did sweeten the deal, but that was not the only reason. This job paid _very_ well, almost well enough to cover the amount that you cost me before. But now you've gone and cost me again, and I just can't have that. That, my dear, is just no fun. You see, your team arrested Raymond Cruz already, and it seems as though I might have a hard time receiving my due with him in jail. I have two options here. First, I can use you as leverage to get Cruz out of jail, but really, I never liked the man much. He doesn't have your spirit. And I can make my profit elsewhere, seeing as I'm in very high demand these days. On the other hand, I could kill you here and now, and make sure that you never interfere in my plans ever again. This won't have my usual flair, but you're making me improvise."

"Go to hell," Steve bit off.

"How unfortunate, they'll all say," the man said in a singsong voice. "It's so sad, they'll cry, the poor Commander died in his sleep, the injuries taking too much of a toll on his poor, worn out body."

"If you think I'm not going to take you down, you're an even bigger idiot than I thought."

"Ahh, but Commander, you forget, I know exactly how injured you are, how weak you must be. I daresay you wouldn't even be able to get out of that bed, let alone fight back. So be a good boy and just sit back while the medicine does it's job."

That was enough for Danny, and immediately he was up and through the door, gun out and pointed at the bastard's forehead. "Drop the needle and turn around, asshole."

The man standing next to his partner simply laughed and turned around, giving Danny a good look at his face for the first time, and now he understood what his partner meant about not escaping unscathed. A large ropey scar covered half of his face, and Danny could only guess that a very large bullet had left a very large wound track for it to be that ugly. The sick smile that spread across the man's face at the sight of Danny's gun did nothing to help his appearance—or Danny's mood. The needle with the unknown substance that he clearly had just been about to inject into Steve's IV stayed where it was though, poised to kill. "Are you going to shoot me, Detective? I'm sure you'd like to."

"Hell right I would. But I also would love to see how you fare in prison, which is to say not well at all, so just put down the needle and step away from my partner."

"It's really wonderful how protective you are of him now, although you didn't seem too concerned about him during our little game."

"Shut up, and drop the needle."

"Now I really can't do that, Detective Williams. As I'm sure you heard, he needs to die, and once again, you'll just be too late to stop me." Then in one fluid motion, the man started to turn back around, and without any other thought but his partner's safety, Danny fired immediately. The bullet met its mark, and the man's body crumpled to the floor, a large hole right in the center of his forehead.

Danny moved forward, not looking at his friend while he kicked the needle out of the man's hand, just in case. He could hear someone yelling outside, and knew they had only moments before nurses, doctors, and maybe even security, were rushing in to see what had happened. Finally he turned around to face Steve, gun dropping to his side. "You okay?"

Steve nodded, the remnants of anger and hard lines still etched on his face. "Are you?"

Danny exhaled swiftly and returned the nod. "It's over now, so yeah, I'm okay."

Steve opened his mouth as if to speak, then stopped momentarily, before a weary smile spread across his face. "I guess we're even now." At Danny's questioning look he continued. "I mean, you definitely saved my life this time, so maybe you can stop feeling guilty and get back to ranting and raving at me. I know you want to."

Danny returned his friend's smile, feeling his emotions settle somewhat for the first time in almost two weeks. "Don't get me started, Steven McGarrett, or you may just regret it. Do you have any idea how worried we were? And what kind of person just walks off at an active crime scene….."

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think! <strong>

**Charlotte **


	7. Chapter 7

**Well, here we are at the end at last. I want to thank everyone who has stuck with me this entire time and for everyone that's left great reviews. Hopefully you like this epilogue-it definitely is a lot more on the comfort/fluff side of things, but I figured it was needed after all that happened to both of our boys. Leave a review and let me know what you think, and thanks again for reading! **

**Standard disclaimers apply. **

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><p>Danny smiled as he woke up, stretching out on Steve's much-too-comfortable couch. He rolled his shoulders, letting his body adjust to being awake before getting up and breaking the nice bubble of sunshine and relaxation he was currently bathing in.<p>

He couldn't figure out why he was so happy and well rested, until he realized that for the first time since coming home from the hospital, for the first time in a week, his partner had slept through the night. No nightmares, no dreams of specters haunting him. Steve still didn't want to talk about whatever he had seen under the influence of the poison with him, hadn't shared anything besides that it was an op gone bad and he was one of only a few to make it out alive. But Danny had overheard his friend on the phone to Joe yesterday, and whatever they had talked about seemed to have worked something out inside of Steve's head. So Danny was willing to push aside whatever petty jealousies he had about Steve going to Joe for help instead of him, because this was a good turning point.

The smile slid off his face, though, when he got up and made it to the backdoor, only to see his partner sitting on the beach. He was close enough to the water that the waves were reaching him, the ocean lapping gently at his feet. Immediately his anger surged—anger tinged with concern, if he was being honest with himself—and he immediately pulled the door open to shout at McGarrett. "Steve! What the hell are you—do not tell me you went for a run!"

"Relax, Danny," Steve countered quickly, turning around and flashing the blonde man a smile. Danny relaxed instantly, seeing that the grin was genuine and open. His partner still looked tired and there were still some bruises fading, but the overall weariness that had overtaken his eyes and body these past few weeks was finally gone, and with it more of Danny's guilt. He'd been trying to work on his own angst since Steve came home from the hospital, and little by little he was doing what his partner had wanted: he had started to forgive himself. He still got swells of guilt when he saw his friend in pain or saw the bruises, but he was trying. And slowly things were getting better for the both of them, with every day that went by. Steve had opened up to him about what he had gone through in captivity, and Danny had done likewise; the talking had done wonders for both their mental health and friendship. "I just woke up and wanted to get out. I've been cooped up too much lately, and I knew you—and the doctors—would flip out if I actually did go for a run or a swim, so I settled for the next best thing." He paused and got an impish look on his face, and Danny could have sworn his partner, the tough Navy SEAL wanted to stick out his tongue. "Is that alright, _mom_?"

If he'd had something to throw at Steve at that moment, Danny would have. "You're such a pain in the ass, McGarrett."

"You love me," Steve threw back immediately.

Danny just grinned, shaking his head, and dropped down in the sand next to his friend. "You slept well last night."

"Yeah. I, uh…I talked to Joe about it yesterday…"

"I know." He glanced at his partner's face, sure that his own was reflecting a sheepish expression. "I accidentally overheard. Not the whole conversation," he added quickly, not wanting to breach his partner's trust. "Just his name."

"It's not that I didn't want to talk to you about it, you have to know that."

"I know that."

"Do you?" Steve questioned, this time drawing his gaze from the ocean to look directly at Danny. "I know that you're always there for me, and if this was any other thing, any other case, I would have come to you. You know that I've told you things before, but this one…I can't break my oath on this. But because Joe was my commanding officer, and had been read in on the case, I could talk to him about it without spilling anything I wasn't supposed to—"

"Whoa, Steve, calm down. You're rambling, and you never ramble. I'm not mad, I swear. I mean, yeah, do I want to help you? Sure, of course I do. But I also don't want to cause you any more stress by making you think that you _have _to talk to me about it. I'm just glad that you talked to someone, worked out whatever demons were playing out in your head at night." Steve gave him a relieved smile, and Danny felt the world just right itself a little bit more. He reached over and squeezed McGarrett's shoulder gently, glad that he was finally able to do so without hurting him. "Thank you, by the way."

The confused reply was instantaneous. "For what?"

"For not letting me give up on this," he motioned between them, "you know, our friendship, and for not letting me drive you away with my own shit. I'm just… I'm glad you're back and safe, and that we're still, you know, us."

"Me too, brah. Me too."

Danny didn't reply, didn't need to, and instead looked out at the water, letting the sound of the waves take over for conversation at the moment. He smiled, and realized, as they sat there, that he finally didn't feel like he was lost in his emotions anymore. They were fine. Steve was healing, and so was he, and for the first time in weeks he wasn't drowning. He was flying.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought! <strong>

**Charlotte **


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